Human Fat Soap

I have to say, surrounding all the hype of "Fight Club", I kind of expected something more. Yes, I do realize that this film came out quite a few years ago...but it seemed like the right occasion for me to finally watch it. Now I can confirm my feelings that Edward Norton is a weasley fruitcake. The man..reminds me of Nicholas Cage only he is easily more dislikeable. At least Cage has something human we can all relate to with his bald spot, shortness, and penchant for choosing roles that are ridiculous ("Ghostrider" anyone? I have to save that for another blog...it just happens to be a film that is so absurd that it is actually hilarious). Norton is just a weasel. Enhanced with the shiny pretty boy Brad Pitt. The two combined create a vortex of gag. As psychological as "Fight Club" was...in the end all I felt from it was the need to take a shower, get a tetnus shot, and swallow a sedative so my brain could unwind.

You're not going believe what I watched next...I'm not going to say because I've already written a negative review.

Sleepy Hollow is now playing before bed...can't say that I like this film either. Depp sort of fizzles, sad to say, but true in my opinion.

What else is there? Ah yes, I wanted to take a minute and write about my need to suppress the urge to make snarky comments on facebook updates. I feel that if I do write them, they have to be subtle enough to not be offensive. Some things people say bother me, I'm sure it happens to everyone. I almost wish more people would speak their minds in regards to facebook updates. I mean, I don't need to know about your every daily activity, including bowel movements. I believe I even had an update once that insinuated something about bowel movements. Lovely. Glad the person could be so open about the shit that comes out of their ass. Anyways...

The mood tonight is bleak.

Honk Honk Crash

Today marked the second excursion to Seattle I've had one week, neither of which was that enjoyable. City life is one thing, but dealing with traffic and the freaky deaky folks that roam the street is another. Trying to focus and write this is startlingly difficult. Jenna conned me into watching "The Ring" to see if me being almost 20 would change the way I viewed it, in other words, be less freaked out. I suppose it worked to a certain degree...never been a fan of horror films.

As for Seattle, fun for a visit. Makes me realize how much I'm in love with the country. Sequim might be a little boring bitch of a town, but deep down I love it quite a bit. Jenna and I almost ended up near death as she nearly made a U turn onto a one way street. I'm sure this blog will get back to me...Thank goodness for GPS, can't stress enough how much of a lifesaver it is. This is not very exciting writing, I wish I could go further into the depths of why Seattle traffic makes me want to end it all, but after the quick flashes of the people vaporized by the festering Samara are burned into my mind, it's difficult to concentrate.

Did I mention I'm staying at a crazy house right now? I'm sure that will get back to me like I said before...Tonight is now turning out so badly, that we are watching a horrible boot legged film of "Role Models", a movie that doesn't stimulate brain activity, on the contrary, fries brain cells with its sheer lack of intelligence.

Seann William Scott is a dipstick. I hate that guy and his crooked face. It's distracting. Blah. I can't write anymore. Go watch "The Terminal", a movie that proved to be slightly slow, but worth the extra time just to marvel over Tom Hank's Russian accent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm1xrJD5aW8

80's Shenaningans

So at this time I'm going to try to multitask and watch the live action film version of "Death Note", which I've been highly anticipating forever, think about all the 80's songs that are scrolling over and over again in my head, and write this while still retaining some semblance of wit. If the semblance fails than I'm sorry for the possible grammatical errors as well as ill developed opinions.

If you haven't seen "Death Note", I suggest it. I would link it from Hulu but I'm simply too lazy to do so at this time. Although my anime phase disappeared when I realized that being an intellectual was more fun in high school, once and awhile a show will pique my interest. "Death Note" played out like a feature film until about episode 20. The twists and turns made up for the overall daunting tone of the show. If the writing wasn't so damn good I don't know if I would have stuck with it for as long as I did. Worth a shot if the day is going slowly. We are watching the live version of the film dubbed, brings me back to the old Jackie Chan films...I love Asian cinema.

Now my original topic is dead...who really wants to read about 80's music anyway. Go listen to some, I think we all share the same general thoughts.

Ah the dubbing. I can't get over it. Most of the time I can't place the voice with the person at all. Like a pre pubescent boy speaking out of the mouth of a gangster. Maybe it was for effect, but it's lost in the sound of my own laughter. It all reminds me of the original "Iron Chef", a show which I used to watch religiously during one of the most boring summers of my life when I lived on a futon that was continually covered in sand by my brother, which also took multiple beatings in order to transform into an actual horizontal bed-type thing, and the end result was a bed that looked like an upside down see-saw. Yes that was a run on sentence, insert a semi colon if you wish.

Anyways, "Iron Chef"...I just recently revisited the show when I saw it playing on some random channel at my parents. Sometimes I think that the voice actors take such great pride in the fact that they can produce a giggle that rivals that of a...small child on helium? Yeah, that's about right. Ah it's a great show. The chairman was like a Michael Jackson wannabe ring-man from a Japanese circus. I really do love any Asian based cinema/TV.

Pasta! Yay

Spaghetti cat cat cat cat cat cat, spaghetti cat cat cat cat cat cat. Seriously, Erika, why? Not only has this been stuck in my head forever, but my oh so clever significant other keeps playing it over and over again. If you are unaware of this phenomenon I seriously suggest you look it up on Youtube and share in this pain I'm feeling.

If it weren't for the beauty of the Alienware laptop, I might have considered smashing it by now. Let's see, what is important and beautiful in the world? I watched "Hitch" today. Actually it was a continuum of when we first started it, and since my boyfriend is ghetto enough to not have a remote control, we had to watch most of the film over again. I like Will Smith...I always have. I like his films, I like his rap, I've seen almost ever episode of "Fresh Prince". As corny as "Wild Wild West" was, I still have some endearing feelings for it. Maybe it was the ongoing Kevin Kline crush that I had for years, but it worked for me. "Hitch" is good for some fluff, priceless moment is when he swings his leg around on the jet ski and kicks her right in the face.

As far as any movie trailer reviews..."Zombieland". Now there is something that looks miserably bright. If you could even use those two words in the same sentence.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/92778/movie-trailers-zombieland---redband

If you don't have a Hulu account, I highly suggest getting on as it only takes a few minutes. Alright this movie looks like something in the same tradition as "Shaun of the Dead" only not British and therefore not as awesome. I have to admit though, when they are tallying zombie kills I let out a minor chuckle. I have somewhat of a loathing for Woody Harrelson though, the man just creeps me out. The only thing he was good for was getting whacked off in "No Country for Old Men". All in all I would give it the go, zombies are so popular, and if you can make fun of them a bit I say all the better. My vote is still with Simon Pegg, but I don't know of anyone else who would disagree with me.

VeloPro

It's been several days now and I have yet to admit to myself that I am addicted to this:

http://armorgames.com/play/4355/cyclomaniacs

I believe I've become a flash games junkie. "Cyclomaniacs" doesn't exactly help with it's multiple achievements waiting to be unlocked, and the multitude of characters that can also be unlocked. The music...well...I mute it whenever I play. The creators have a sense of humor at least, something I usually look for in a flash game if it's lacking in other areas. Blarg...I want to program one someday, been a long wish of mine. If I ever kick myself in the ass enough to take classes, and then kick it some more to actually do it...hmmm I feel sad thinking about it.

I was also thinking about this:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/91116/movie-trailers-avatar

Although at first it looks slightly misleading, where it seemingly could be the animated show "Avatar: The Last Airbender" which aired on Nickelodeon for a few seasons....it is actually James Cameron's next epic. While I can't really completely judge "Titanic" (his first Oscar glutton, high budget, mega hit), I can say that what I did see seemed gag worthy corny. I just can't take Leonardo DiCaprio seriously in ANYTHING. He is always going to be a squirt, I think that's the right word. While "Avatar" looks stunning, it is pretty much a redux of "Dances With Wolves" and "The Last Samurai" with a sci fi story. I like pretty blue gigantic aliens though, heh, I will give it a view...it might be an illegal view online but that's what you get when you're broke.

As for "Avatar: The Last Airbender"...it is being made into a film and renamed just "The Last Airbender" because Cameron took a stink to them stealing any glory from his precious film. Might be a shock to some but...M. Night Shyamalan is the director of said children's film. Good God. Good God. All I have to say.

Oh Gawd, Mary!

Sometimes I sit at my computer screen and it will actually start to personify...itself? You know when you are behind a slow moving dipstick on the road and you start to look at their lights and they turn into some angry face? I guess it depends on the car...VW bugs seem to be friendlier. Or when patterns in some oriental rug swirlize themselves into freaky looking demon faces, maybe that's just me.

Today I drank a five-hour energy, you know the ones from the commercial that advertises how horrible normal energy drinks are and then incredibly materializes into a commercial for an energy drink? Yeah that one. Don't know why I did it, the boredom just got to that level. Anyway, it was definitely false advertising because not only am I feeling a strange crash now, but I was jittery and feeling like I might go into shock any moment. Still don't know how Bon Jovi can drink five of those before he performs...I saw that on 60 Minutes. Which reminds me, there used to be an anchor on 60 Minutes who was bald, had an earring, and had googly eyes. I used to stare at those eyes a lot, I think that anchor is dead now. I always wondered if others stared at those googly eyes. The clock that it cuts to is also unnerving...very unnerving. Reminds me of the Law and Order noise, only that sound gets me pumped for the next scene. I guess it's more like the noise from 24, now there's an eerie sound.

My Mini-Wheats are gone :(. I don't know if my system will adjust to the lack of fiber...gah...I hope it can. I think Augustus will miss them though, he liked them. I will surely miss all the ones which had too much frosting, the others were worthless in my mind. I had pancakes last night, which I usually hate. I don't understand why people can eat big blobs of dough that sink directly to the bottom of your stomach. It's a piece of dough...and that's it. There were chocolate chips in mine though, so I guess it wasn't just a piece of dough. They still are gross though. I will never understand pancakes, ever.